I feel tired and old. The years are pressing on me. All l thirty-three of them are weighing heavily on me, all the twists and turns of a life spent merely existing, hiding. I have regrets. Fear drowns hope with exaggerated faults. Could have, would have… should have… didn’t. I know I’m still young, but I can’t deny I am also old. My prime child-bearing years have passed; that damn clock mimics my heartbeat, and with every passing month, mocks me when I bleed. The wheel turns once more, and I am still here, distracting myself from that clock as best I can.
Posted on March 14, 2013, in blogging, emotion, family, life, mental health, parenting, people, personal, sharing and tagged Anxiety, baby, biological, bleed, blood pressure, body, child, clock, distract, Family, fault, fear, fear hope, feeling, health, heartbeat, Home, kids, life, mental health, mocks, mommy, nature, need, old, personal, phobia, pregnant, prime, regret, sad, sadness, self, sick, stress, ticking, tired, turns, twists, want, wheel, woman, years, young. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.