… to keep your cool.
It is surprisingly easy to lose your cool, and to react to minor stresses and to irritating people.
However, most of us would rather feel relaxed and in control, and the following guidelines can
help us reach this goal.
1. Keep things in perspective: Often we catastrophise or over-react when the issue or
offense is insignificant. Here, it is best to force yourself to take a balanced approach and remind
yourself, “it’s minor, and not worth the energy!”
2. Visualise yourself coping: Take a few deep breaths and let your feelings settle down. Draw
a mental picture of a calm, unflustered “you”, who takes their time to respond and is able to
cope. Then, in a calm, low voice – with a few well chosen words – respond as you would like, so
you maintain your self-respect.
3. Be aware of your triggers: When someone pushes our buttons we generally react.
However, if we know what those are then we can regain control, and can practice how to cope
when our feelings are stirred. Also, if we’re tired or hungry, feeling cold, or over-stretched then
we’re much more likely to over-react.
4. Create a calm environment: Stay one step ahead by preparing yourself for inevitable
setbacks and infuriating people. For example, play some music in the car, or take a walk during
lunch, or keep some photos in your office of the people that you love.
5. Distract yourself: When you feel the pressure building, or you start to ruminate, think of
something that’s amusing, or a fun event you’ve planned.
These are just a few suggestions to help you stay detached so that stresses and people don’t
make you lose your cool.
Found at onlinecounsellingcollege.tumblr.com.
I love psychology, and I love movies. Every couple of years, I teach a class called “Psychology in Film.” When I tell people about it, they often ask, “Are there enough movies about psychology for an entire class?” My response is first shock, then slight annoyance, then my vocal response of, “Every movie is about psychology.”
An abusive future?
As my initial posting for this new blog, I’d like to focus on the “Twilight” movies (based on the books by Stephenie Meyer). In the past decade, the rise in popularity of vampire-themed books, TV shows, and movies has risen dramatically. While some vampire stories are rich with sexual and cultural lessons, the “Twilight” series, in my opinion, can be used as a display of behaviors that put people at risk for abuse in dating relationships. The popularity of the Twilight series shows just how much attention girls are giving to the examples of lovers displayed in Edward and Bella‘s world. To them, Edward represents the troubled soul who is waiting to be tamed by just the right woman; it’s the modern “Beauty and the Beast.” Unfortunately, the course and characteristics of Bella’s relationship with Edward are actually templates for violence and abuse, and Twilight fans may unwittingly model a relationship that is far from healthy. While relationship violence is extremely complicated and every case is different, some warning signs have been identified by researchers.