But the danger we perceive doesn’t actually have to be there. We just have to think that it is.
Whether the danger is real or imagined, our automatic survival mechanisms will kick in and we will try to escape or avoid the danger.
We might avoid certain people or places. We might refuse to go out. Perhaps we’ll only go out with someone else present and then leave early.
Whilst our coping behaviours get us through the perceived danger, they actually keep our anxiety going. As long as we depend on them to cope, we don’t give ourselves the opportunity for the anxiety to go away on its own.
Learning to confront our anxiety might be uncomfortable in the short term, but it helps us take control and feel better in the long term.
If you feel anxiety starting to overwhelm you, ask yourself if you have any proof that what you fear is actually going to happen. What is the worst that could happen and how would you cope with it if it did? Imagine it is six months from now. How important will this feel then?
Just because you feel bad, doesn’t mean things really are bad. Imagine yourself coping with this situation. If you can handle it in your imagination, you can handle it in reality.
via Inner Child Healing.
… to keep your cool.
It is surprisingly easy to lose your cool, and to react to minor stresses and to irritating people.
However, most of us would rather feel relaxed and in control, and the following guidelines can
help us reach this goal.
1. Keep things in perspective: Often we catastrophise or over-react when the issue or
offense is insignificant. Here, it is best to force yourself to take a balanced approach and remind
yourself, “it’s minor, and not worth the energy!”
2. Visualise yourself coping: Take a few deep breaths and let your feelings settle down. Draw
a mental picture of a calm, unflustered “you”, who takes their time to respond and is able to
cope. Then, in a calm, low voice – with a few well chosen words – respond as you would like, so
you maintain your self-respect.
3. Be aware of your triggers: When someone pushes our buttons we generally react.
However, if we know what those are then we can regain control, and can practice how to cope
when our feelings are stirred. Also, if we’re tired or hungry, feeling cold, or over-stretched then
we’re much more likely to over-react.
4. Create a calm environment: Stay one step ahead by preparing yourself for inevitable
setbacks and infuriating people. For example, play some music in the car, or take a walk during
lunch, or keep some photos in your office of the people that you love.
5. Distract yourself: When you feel the pressure building, or you start to ruminate, think of
something that’s amusing, or a fun event you’ve planned.
These are just a few suggestions to help you stay detached so that stresses and people don’t
make you lose your cool.
Found at onlinecounsellingcollege.tumblr.com.
Life has stopped being a journey and has become a race — one with the prize of eternal bliss if only we work hard enough to reach the finish line. But our lives aren’t a race and happiness isn’t some end goal off in the distance — it’s right here and right now! It’s a choice that we make based on gratitude for the things we have — not the things we think we will eventually get.
… It’s being okay with doing the things that you enjoy as much as you enjoy them — instead of thinking that their worth comes when you have mastered them (or made a profit from them). Happiness is realizing all that you could be in certain areas and then being okay if you aren’t. Happiness is acceptance — of yourself, of your life, and the people around you.
Read more: Be Happy Right Now