Category Archives: love and romance

Funny, I used to be an Architect

INFP – the Healer

You scored 36% I to E, 47% N to S, 33% F to T, and 53% J to P!

You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more intuitive than observant, you are more feeling based than thinking based, and you prefer to go with the flow rather than having a plan. Your type can best be summarized by the word “Healer”, which belongs to the larger group of idealists. You have a capacity for caring that is deeper than most. You strive for unity, are fascinated by the battles between good and evil, and can be something of an idealist. Only 1% of the population shares your type.

As a romantic partner, you are usually supprtive and nuturing, however, you have a high need for individuality. Harmony is extremely important to you as you are very affected by conflict and tension, which also makes you resist confronting your partner directly about problems. When you get angry, you usually blame yourself, rather than your partner. You can also be stubborn and unyielding when you feel you are being criticized or mistreated. You feel the most appreciated when your partner listens to you carefully. You need to be understood. You need to hear your partner express their feelings, the more often, the better. Your group summary: idealists (NF)

Your type summary: INFP

Results from The Quick and Dirty Personality Test (Read more about the Keirsey Temperament Theory here.

 

Funny, I used to be an Architect.

Panic Rant ‘n’ Roll

This! This right here! I finally leave mum’s house, meet a wonderful man and move in together to start our new life, and I settle into my new life and happiness

and

then

PANIC SETS IN because one of my sisters can’t get her shit together and yells at me about it on the phone. Because my mother will always see me as her baby girl and not the woman I’ve grown up to be MORE THAN 12 YEARS AGO. Because three moves, falling in love, and starting my own family wasn’t stressful enough. Because of so much family shit packed into 30 LOOOONG years I am a fucking nervous wreck.

No more.

I am not your therapist, nor am I your journal/diary. Do not call to complain about things I cannot control because all it fucking does is make me PANIC. You (plural “you’) ALL know I suffer from panic attacks and fucking ptsd so you best remember this: If you want to continue to be in my life in any meaningful way, then you will restrain yourself (plural again) and be civil in every last one of our fucking communications or, I swear to you, there will be no further communication between you and I. I will answer your calls again, but if/once they turn for the worse, then the call is over.

I don’t know if this is a form of Tough Love, and I don’t really care. All I know is this is now affecting my health very seriously. And if my family, my literal flesh and blood, can’t bring themselves to care, then so be it. I will always love you, even though you never believe it. But I will not die for you. I will not lose my sanity for you.

I am shaking so bad right now. I’m ready to cry again. Fuck. Fuck this shit. I need chocolate.

Calling All Gynecologists « I Heart Guts

menstrual cycle infographic

Menstrual cycles can be baffling, and that’s why I really wanted to make this special poster explaining this special time of the month, mostly so I can justify to my poor husband exactly why I am feeling totally insane. “It’s not me, honey, it’s the progesterone spiking,” or, “Can you understand now why I’m being a total bee-yatch? I’ve got at least five different hormones coursing through my body right now. I’m on drugs.” Marvel at the leuteinizing hormone! Be amazed as the estrogen takes a nosedive right before ovulation! Check out the egg as it takes its long journey through your reproductive system! Anyway, check it out and give me feedback — calling all OB/GYNs! Editors! Anatomy nuts! Sex educators! — before I send this thing to the printer. I know it’s a little crazy-looking, design-wise, but then again, so’s the menstrual cycle.

via Calling All Gynecologists « I Heart Guts.

You can buy this poster at The Good Ol’ Menstrual Cycle « I Heart Guts.

End Patriarchy

 

 

 

end patriarchy - because a better world for all is in our hands

 

 

 

“The thing is, it’s patriarchy that says men are stupid and monolithic and unchanging and incapable. It’s patriarchy that says men have animalistic instincts and just can’t stop themselves from harassing and assaulting. It’s patriarchy that says men can only be attracted by certain qualities, can only have particular kinds of responses, can only experience the world in narrow ways.

Feminism holds that men are capable of more – are more than that.”

~Chally Kacelnik

“Visionary feminism is a wise and loving politics. It is rooted in the love of male and female being, refusing to privilege one over the other. The soul of feminist politics is the commitment to ending patriarchal domination of women and men, girls and boys. Love cannot exist in any relationship that is based on domination and coercion. Males cannot love themselves in patriarchal culture if their very self-definition relies on submission to patriarchal rules. When men embrace feminist thinking and practice, which emphasizes the value of mutual growth and self-actualization in all relationships, their emotional well-being will be enhanced. A genuine feminist politics always brings us from bondage to freedom, from lovelessness to loving.”

~Bell Hooks

End patriarchy.

Because a better world for all is in our hands.

 

via Profile Pictures.

 

 

 

</patriarchy>

(Photo credit: gaelx)

 

 

Fuck Slut-Shaming, That Shit Has Got to Stop. « Elephant Ocean

 

Mother and Daughter - D7K 9994 ep

Mother and Daughter – D7K 9994 ep (Photo credit: Eric.Parker)

 

 

Through the comments of misogynists like Limbaugh, the obsession over Secretary Clinton’s face, and the public outcry over Kristen’s actions we are teaching young girls some very unnerving lessons. We’re teaching girls that men can do whatever they want whenever they want with little to no adverse reactions because, well, they’re men and it’s just the way men are. Case in point, Ashton cheated on Demi and I barely heard a whimper; Rush has cheated on two of his previous wives, no one says shit. Do you think there is a Facebook page devoted to slut-shaming Rupert Sanders, the man with whom Kristen had an affair? Nope. Not a one.

… We are perpetuating a culture of patriarchy in which women are ostracized from society; our careers ruined and our reputations irrevocably demolished for daring to not be virginal little ladies. We might as well just sew a scarlet letter on Kristen and get it over with.

Fuck that shit.

… it’s not my place to judge Kristen or Sanders. This is a very private matter and people need to mind their damn business. Kristen is not a whore or a slut, she’s a very young woman who made a mistake. The only people who get to be mad at or name call Kristen, are those people directly affected by the affair. Everyone else needs to shut the fuck up and stop slut-shaming every woman who dares to have sex. For this reason I’ve got Kristen’s back. I am standing up for her and with her because I am sick and fucking tired of the double-standard. I am sick and goddamned tired of women being called whores, sluts, cunts, and trash while society essentially gives men a free pass to use and abuse women as they see fit. This shit has got to stop.

via Fuck Slut-Shaming, That Shit Has Got to Stop. « Elephant Ocean.

 

 

 

There are many more articles, but my stomach is turning from reading just a few of them. I can’t believe we still have to protest society’s patriarchal ways after all these years.

Excuse me while I go shower the bad feelings away.

Nico Lang: “Trampire:” Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women

kristen stewart

But for young women, the culture of slut shaming that the Kristen Stewart scandal represents won’t go away. I might not be concerned for K-Stew, but I am concerned for all the young women today who are tuned into this scandal, ones who are learning that it’s not okay to screw up, ever. Chris Brown can publicly beat the hell out of his girlfriend but still be played on the radio and win Grammys. However, if you ever cheat on your boyfriend, your life is over and no one will ever want to be associated with you. Almost no one will blame the much-older guy you cheated with, and it might actually make him more famous and help his career. Few will care that he was your boss and in a position of authority or that he may have have taken advantage of your youth and relative inexperience. Everything is your fault, and your life will be threatened over it. If you are a trampire, you will be publicly staked for it, even though cheater Ashton Kutcher recently emerged relatively unscathed by the media. No one asked for him to be fired from Two and a Half Men.

I might not be concerned for K-Stew, but I am concerned for my younger stepsister who has pictures of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson on her walls, who idolizes and worships them, and who might grow up to hate Kristen Stewart for reasons she doesn’t understand. I’m worried she will be taught that it’s not okay to mess up, learn from it and apologize, because no one wants your apology, just your suffering on camera. I’m worried that she’ll think its okay to harass and threaten women for their indiscretions, even if men get off scot-free. I’m worried she will think this culture of bullying, slut-shaming and rhetorical violence against women is the norm, because you get a t-shirt for it. I’m worried she will learn to internalize the shame brought on far too many women today, for having sexualities, for not being perfect, for not fitting into a box. I’m worried she’ll believe men like Todd Akin, Paul Ryan and Mike Huckabee are right.

Because even if she doesn’t know who Akin, Ryan and Huckabee are, even if she doesn’t pay attention to politics or the radical right-wing GOP, she does pay attention to Twilight and Robsten. And if we want to empower her to be a strong, independently minded woman who knows that her body, sexuality and safety are legitimate and can stand up for her rights, we need to pay attention, too. This might seem ridiculous to us, and most people I know can’t wait to stop talking about it. But for her, having this conversation makes a difference. Although no young woman shouldn’t think it’s okay to cheat, what we are teaching them right now is so much worse.

Read more @ Nico Lang: “Trampire:” Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women.

 

I don’t like Robert  Pattinson or Kristin Stewart, and I think “Twilight” is a harmful piece of crap that promotes co-dependency and violence towards women.  However, that doesn’t excuse the public abuse of one young woman and her extremely stupid action. So what if she cheated on him? I think it was a crappy thing to do, yes. I’ve heard rumors that he cheated on her. Again, so what? That’s between her and him, not you and me and everyone else.

Stop sticking your gossipy noses in other people’s business and grow up a little.

 

Related articles

Men Should Be Offended

Relationship Violence in “Twilight” | Psychology Today

Relationship Violence in “Twilight” | Psychology Today

I love psychology, and I love movies. Every couple of years, I teach a class called “Psychology in Film.” When I tell people about it, they often ask, “Are there enough movies about psychology for an entire class?” My response is first shock, then slight annoyance, then my vocal response of, “Every movie is about psychology.”

An abusive future?

As my initial posting for this new blog, I’d like to focus on the “Twilight” movies (based on the books by Stephenie Meyer). In the past decade, the rise in popularity of vampire-themed books, TV shows, and movies has risen dramatically. While some vampire stories are rich with sexual and cultural lessons, the “Twilight” series, in my opinion, can be used as a display of behaviors that put people at risk for abuse in dating relationships. The popularity of the Twilight series shows just how much attention girls are giving to the examples of lovers displayed in Edward and Bella‘s world. To them, Edward represents the troubled soul who is waiting to be tamed by just the right woman; it’s the modern “Beauty and the Beast.” Unfortunately, the course and characteristics of Bella’s relationship with Edward are actually templates for violence and abuse, and Twilight fans may unwittingly model a relationship that is far from healthy. While relationship violence is extremely complicated and every case is different, some warning signs have been identified by researchers.

via Relationship Violence in “Twilight” | Psychology Today.

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